EV...I think that you wouldn't know a cool story even it it slaped you in the face 100 times. This story is great. Good job red sparrow. 10/10

omigosh, that part was horrible....makes me wanna go give Link a big fat hug! ^.^ haha...hmm maybe even that won't do it....poor link! T.T Yesh...luv does hurt....

It was pretty good. It has a good story line. I think the malon bits were a bit corny, and a few bits weren't right. You need to put in more emotion in, the break up with Link and Zelda was too quick and painless, it was as if they didn't mean anything to each other. Another point is that you keep of changing from past to present tense just like in all your other stories. Past tense uses words such as "looked, felt saw, heard, reached, landed, flew", whereas present tense uses words such as "looks, feels, sees, hears, reaches, lands, flies". See the difference? You can't change tense through stories usless your changing points of view and time frames (e.g. flash backs may be in past tense while the story is in present tense), You really need to get these down because its really uncomforable when someone is reading and the story is constantly changing tense every few sentences. But enough of that, the story was good and you tried really hard and in my books thats enough to earn you a ten, but that doesn't mean you can't improve. Please take what I've said into consideration. Thankyou.

Author's Response: I know...but it's really hard for me. It doesn't flow to me as easily as it does for other people...when I read it, it's ok, I guess I can never catch my own mistakes. Maybe I'll nail it down one day. I hope.

ooooohh scary!9/10

I love that! Sorry just had to say that I'm really glad that Derek is at least has a human personality and not just total evil. This is getting more and more interesting! Great chappie... Keep writing

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, check back in a few days for the next chapter in this twist filled story ^_~ I'm sure you'll like how this story links both Shadow and Light stories together.

Oh god...the mere terror of being raped while not having control...you have one sick mind. The storyline is interesting so far, and though the dialogue is a little unrealistic in some places, your writing is still good. Not perfect, but good. I'll give it an 8/10. It's pretty scary *shudders from your last piece of work* and I can't wait for more.

Author's Response: Unrealistic? Well, keep reading, and hopfully, it'll make much more sense later on...I'd say a few more chapters down the line. And yeah...I admit, the last chapter IS pretty disturbing, but then, I think I did a pretty good job pointing out how evil these people are.